Friday, August 5, 2011

Why I Love Southwest Airlines

"Welcome aboard.  Your flight attendants today are Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe.  Allow us to pretend to tell you about the safety features of this Boeing-747.  In the seat pocket in front of you, there is a brightly colored pamphlet that you will never read. . .

. . . In case this flight turns into a cruise, there are life vests under the seats.  Place one over your head, fasten the buckle, and pull the straps to tighten.  If the vests don't work, that's too bad for you.  Thanks for flying Southwest!

We never anticipate the loss of cabin pressure -- if we did, we wouldn't have come into work today!  In case this does happen, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling.  If you are traveling with a child -- or someone who acts like a child -- secure your mask first before assisting your husband.  If you are traveling with multiple children, take a moment to decide which is your favorite. . .or which one has the most potential.

Once again, thank you for choosing Southwest Airlines.  Please keep all hands and legs inside this ride.  We are cleared for blast off!"

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